Always...

I'm always thinking of somewhere to go. . . where I am isn't always enough. But I leave and I want it back.

I live in a

house where the paint is faded, the walls are broken, and the rooms are crowded. It's a house where the bugs crawl in, the warm air seeps out, dishes have to be washed by our own hands and the air conditioner is faulty, at best. My house isn't filled with pretty things and luxury is unfamiliar. I live in a house that is not filled with what we want, but what we need. I live in a world of sacrifice, and those sacrifices are made for me.

I've been a competitive gymnast for 15 years. That's basically saying my parents have given me happiness for 15 years. But this happiness doesn't come without a price. Because this sport is so expensive, we have had to do without many of the things other people take for granted. My parents choose to spend ridiculous amounts of money for gas, hotels, and restaurants to travel to meets rather than for nice vacations, new cars, or upgraded appliances. They'd rather live with stained and duct taped carpets, lights that don't always turn on, and showers that aren't always hot than to deny me my passion.

Every time I walk through the door, this house teaches me something. It teaches me to be thankful for what I have, but also for what I don't have. I'm thankful for what I don't have because if I had those other, nicer things, I wouldn't have gymnastics. I've learned that love can be stronger than greed, and that love can make almost everything alright. My home has taught me to be flexible, to be accepting, and to live simply.

Others look at this house and they may pity me; I look at my little house and see much sweeter things. I look at the faded paint, the broken walls, and the crowded rooms. I know that bugs get in and warmth gets out. I try not to complain about washing dishes and hot summers without air conditioning. I see all of these things and I see them as a blessing. All of the imperfections equal love and sacrifice. My house is a reflection of who I am. It has made me loving, slow to judge, and is the place I run to with my sorrows, my successes, and my dreams. My parents have built this house with love for me, and their willingness to make me happy. I may not have pretty things or a beautiful home, but I do have love, happiness, and knowledge of what is important in life. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Oh hey personal essay. Thanks for helping me get into college.

On a lighter note,

after Jack, Kelly, Eric, and I saw the movie, we went to Dave and Buster's. It was really fun. We ate dinner and then we played games in the arcade. After that we just came home, played Pictionary with the family, went to Eric's, ate cake, watched scary TV shows, then came home. Lalala.

Black Swan (spoiler alert people!!)

Hmm Black Swan. What to say about this movie??

It was good, but I'm not sure if I think it was great yet. It was very dark, and it didn't seem to me to be that focused on the dance aspect. It was mostly focused on her being crazy. I figured it would be the type of movie where dancing had consumed this girl's life, which, many and even I can somehow relate to. I thought she would be unhappy but dance would be the thing that set her free, but it didn't seem to even make her happy while she was doing it. Not until the end. Which I suppose was what the objective was but that just bothered me a little. It was not a happy movie. The only happy part was when she found out she was the **spoiler alert** Swan Queen. After that it was downhill emotion wise. Don't get me wrong I do think it was a beautifully made, good and entertaining movie. I just don't know if I see where the hype is coming from. Maybe it'll take a few days to sink in.

Dear 2011,

Adventures please?

Love,

Kimberly.

What's right and what's wrong? I need the blurry line to become clear.

This...Is....NEW YEAR'S!!!!

Giant reese's cups. Fun pictures. Squeezing onto the couch. Fake champagne. Counting down the ball drop. Pretend dance parties. Weird scary movies. (Did we even finish that?) Restlessness on the couch. Chat Roulette. Trying to sleep. Flying Jenga blocks. Farting on people. Tickle/hitting/rolling around on the floor/pinching fights with Elizabeth. Whining about wanting to go to Waffle House for 3 hours. Finally fitting on the couch. Semi falling asleep on the couch. Realizing it's bright outside. Feeling drunk. Going to Waffle House at 9 in the morning. Coming home and sleeping til 4.

Having the best New Year's ever.... yeahhhh.