Monday, January 31, 2011

Pleasant Surprise

Hi. Um. I love you. You’ll probably exit out of this without seeing what I wrote haha, but whateva. You’re in the shower, I should probably get dressed, but just wanted you to know that. In case you didn’t. but. You should. So. Yeah. Because you’re pretty much amazing.


Sunday, January 30, 2011

weekend shenanigans

This weekend was fun :D
Eric came on Friday :D We went to dinner with peeps and then sprawled out as a result of our food babies.... but later that night we went sledding. Which was kind of a fail but we all had fun.

On Saturday Eric and I met up with Jack and Kelly for lunch. Twas very fun. I luh my brother. Later on Eric and I headed to "downtown" Harrisonburg. Yawn. It was cute, but, it's no downtown Richmond (I think both Eric and I can agree on that). We basically shopped all day between Target and Old Navy. Well. I only shopped for a second, the rest of the time was spent on stressing about what to buy. Ask Eric.

We went to dinner with Hannah and Joel after a long day of shopping, which was nice. Considering I had the hungry grumpiessss. Again, ask Eric. After that we basically just hung out. Twas fun. I love having him here. It makes me want him to go here sometimes. But. This is life. I'll take what I can get. Which is loveliness in the form of a boy named Eric. He is honestly too good for me. But. I could go on and on about this boy. So I'll stop. Last thing: He'll be here in two weeks for Valentine's Day yayy!!

Friday, January 28, 2011

I AM SO EXCITED that Eric is coming. It feels like I haven't seen him in a month. Well. I guess I haven't seen him basically in 3 weeks. So. YAAYYYYYYY! :D

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I am so excited

for the weekend! Eric is coming. I'm bringing him to large group. He can see what it's like. We all (Hannah, Joel, Meghan, Me, Eric) shall have snow ball fights. Yay. I love when he's with me :D
I feel right.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


I want to go shopping so bad. Is it bad that I obsess over clothes I can't afford/probs wouldn't look good in? Dangit!


Today will be better.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Do you ever think of a certain moment

you were really happy?

When you wouldn't stop throwing my socks at me.

"Go make your mac n cheese so you won't be crabby making our fort"

Talking til 6 in the morning with your boyfriend. Waking up at noon to eat with your friends. Getting ice cream in 14 degree weather. Going with your friends to see a play, coming back to your dorm to ruin mac n cheese, building a fort with your roommate, laying in said fort with your friends and watching funny videos late at night.........................

Life isn't as bad as people say it is yeah?

Thursday, January 20, 2011

It takes my breath away, what happened to it all?

Was it nothing? Did we just fall apart to the point where our relationship would have to be rebuilt? Does it need to be mended?

Is it that you don't love me anymore? You found someone else to replace me? Or are you as afraid to try again as I am? Does it enter your mind? Because I think about it all the time.
Did you not think of me as your other half, the way I thought of you?

Is there someone else taking your time, taking your better judgement, taking your memories?

Do you miss it? Do you miss me? There was enough history that qualified us as something special, enough to justify how I feel.

Do you need someone to pull you out of what's apparently consuming you? Or do you like the hold that's been put on you.

Maybe you don't remember what it used to be like. Maybe you don't remember the times I helped you through, the things we experienced, cried through together.

I'd understand. I just want to know why it is always on my mind. Why does it actually hurt my stomach when I think about it more than I should. I know the answer, but it always hurts to admit that we had something worth losing.

I'll try to rebuild what we had when I know your silence won't hurt anymore.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

yeah i can be the girl that cares about stupid things sometimes. i spend my life not bringing up little things because i don't want everything to crumble. but sometimes i care.

UREC.... Ke$ha styl3 :D :D

Hannah and I hit up UREC today. It was so fun! We jammed to Kesha on the way there (yes we coordinated songs because we're nerds), jammed to Kesha while we rode the bikes, jammed to Kesha while we ran a mile on the treadmills, and ... nah we talked on the way back.

It was actually fun! We went at like 10 something and there was hardly anyone there, which is what we like. We're going to start going more and I'm really excited! I really want to get into better shape.... Kesha will help us!! :D :D

When I don't feel like sleeping...

I like to pretend I'm at the dentist..
Or act like a horse....
or spaz.....
or look smug.....
or act like I can't see the screen......
or look just.... weird.

Monday, January 17, 2011


Today at small group our theme for the night was "Prayerful".
We basically talked about praying: how to, when to, what about, tips on how to help your prayers, etc. It was pretty awesome because it's a topic that is really relevant.

Here are some of the things we talked about concerning praying:

-When something good happens, praise God through prayer.
On the same note, when something bad happens, pray. (that's usually not an issue, kind of a no brainer)

- Emma said she has a symbol, a butterfly ring for example, to remind you of God and that reminds you to pray.

- Writing down your prayers.

- Getting a devotional to help inspire ideas of what to pray for.

-Notice things around you and pray about them. Pray every morning you wake up.. it's not a given that you will.... it's a blessing.

- Even listening to Christian songs sometimes can help remind you to pray.

So yeah. We talked about a ton of things and it was just a really great small group tonight. It gave me suggestions and things to think about. Yay.

"There is no Rock like our God." 1 Sam 2:2

Friday, January 14, 2011

Happy Friday!!

Yay it is Friday!! I have officially gotten my first week back at school over with!! And it was quite splendid.

And today is splendid as well. I finished my one class of the day by 10, biked at UREC with Hannah, showered, and am about to go eat at Green's. Tis lovely already.

Then I just get to chill until Large Group. I am quite excited for that. Especially singing. I can't wait to be with Stephanie to sing... it always makes me feel closer to God because I know how into it she gets. Love love love!! Happy Friday everyone :D

Thursday, January 13, 2011

When will

the smell of hairspray not bring me back to the nervousness before a meet, the fidgety car ride there, the sweaty palms before beam, the intensity of the sport, the failing or winning, the stiff hair that was coated with this spray, the scrubbing in the shower trying to get it and the feeling of gymnastics off?

I don't think it ever will. It happens every time. But I'm ok with that.

New Year's Resolution

My New Year's Resolution has been to be healthier.

But not just the "I want to lose weight and work out blah blah blah". That would be ideal, that is my goal, yes, but it's other things too.

For example....

-flossing every day. Definitely skimped on that for the past... life.

-washing my face when I wake up and go to bed. Don't always do that. Ew.

-eating healthier. And NO I don't mean not ever having dessert or ever having food I like, it's honestly just because I feel gross after eating crap.

People tell me I don't need to lose weight and some people tell me I DO need to lose weight. I guess I can see maybe from an outsider that I sound dumb, I was a gymnast, I'm in good shape, but that's the thing. I was a gymnast. I worked out everyday but Sundays for the last 6 years of my life, and almost that much for the past like... 10 and so on.... Not doing that for 8 months has taken a toll, maybe not visibly exactly, but mentally.

I don't like heaving after running a mile, I don't like not being able to do even 3 pull ups, I just don't like not being the athletic girl. I'm definitely not going to be as athletic, but I want to change my lifestyle. So there ya go.

... Because I want to get to that point some day.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Happy Girl.

I am so incredibly happy with life!!

My classes are for the most part interesting, I like my schedule, I've had some awesome lunch dates with people, my friends here are great, my friends at home are amazing, I have a great relationship that is really strong and just getting stronger, my family is sweeet, and I don't know... I can just feel God's presence in my life. Which is awesome :D And I hope I can just feel him in my life more and more.


Happy girl.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Fresh start

Today was surprisingly satisfying.

My 9 am GCOM class was pretty chill. My professor (or Sarah as she'd like to be called) was fairly young and laid back. Which is nice for a speech class. We have to start off the class by telling an embarrassing story however.... guess I'll be telling Eric's and my first kiss story again!

After that I had Spanish 300... which I was worried about. The teacher speaks all Spanish but thankfully I understood a lot of what she said. She seems nice but strict so we'll see how that goes.

That ended at 12:30 (praise!) and I had lunch, got my GCOM book, and slept. For 2 and a half hours. Back to college life :D

Small group was amazing! I scheduled some lunch dates with peoples :D I really wanna get closer to the sorta friends I already have. Go fresh starts!!


Sunday, January 9, 2011


I am officially back! And it feels right. Which is great. I basically have been unpacking and organizing since I've been here. I really want to start the semester off right so I figure trying to stay organized is a good start.
It was nice seeing Hannah and Bea and Meghan. We talked about our breaks and it's just like when we left :D
Now Meghan and I are watching our favorite, 5 and a half hour version of Pride and Prejudice.

I'm still a little stressed though. This is why:

1.) Classes start tomorrow.
I am obviously going to be a little stressed about new classes. Finding them, the work, the professors.

2.) I don't have all of my books for my classes yet.
That is REALLY stressing me out. Especially because I looked at one of my class's syllabus and we have homework out of my missing book tomorrow. AHH.

3.) Upon looking at my Spanish syllabus, I realize I'm not that great at Spanish.
This is the class with the homework tomorrow. And the missing book. So. There are several problems here.
Maybe luckily though.....there is a girl in my class from my last Spanish class so I can maybe borrow her book? I don't know. I just need to trust that God will get me through this like he gets me through everything else!!!


Should totally be packing. I probably will in between sentences in this post. I don't feel ready to go back to school, kinda like you, Steph. I don't have all my books and I just have a slightly off feeling. I think I get that whenever there is a change in my lifestyle though, so I probably shouldn't be worried. I'm sad about leaving all my friends. I felt that the break went by very slowly, which is amazing. Not slowly in a bad way I mean. At the same time though, I felt like I didn't get enough time with people individually. I need to work on that.

I'm obviously also not looking forward to the whole "long" distance aspect of Eric's and my relationship again. I put "long" in quotations because I feel silly complaining because it really is only 2 hours away but it's still difficult at times. I get frustrated easily with texting constantly and just not being in front of him. But, it's definitely made it stronger, so I won't dwell on it too much.

On a positive note, I am kind of excited for my new classes. I just wish I was fully prepared for them, aka having all my books.
I'm also really excited for IV activities to start up again. Tomorrow I get to meet with my small group which will be so awesome and comforting :D
And I'm kind of happy to just get back in the groove of things. Hopefully everything goes well!!

Friday, January 7, 2011


I'm always thinking of somewhere to go. . . where I am isn't always enough. But I leave and I want it back.

I live in a

house where the paint is faded, the walls are broken, and the rooms are crowded. It's a house where the bugs crawl in, the warm air seeps out, dishes have to be washed by our own hands and the air conditioner is faulty, at best. My house isn't filled with pretty things and luxury is unfamiliar. I live in a house that is not filled with what we want, but what we need. I live in a world of sacrifice, and those sacrifices are made for me.
I've been a competitive gymnast for 15 years. That's basically saying my parents have given me happiness for 15 years. But this happiness doesn't come without a price. Because this sport is so expensive, we have had to do without many of the things other people take for granted. My parents choose to spend ridiculous amounts of money for gas, hotels, and restaurants to travel to meets rather than for nice vacations, new cars, or upgraded appliances. They'd rather live with stained and duct taped carpets, lights that don't always turn on, and showers that aren't always hot than to deny me my passion.
Every time I walk through the door, this house teaches me something. It teaches me to be thankful for what I have, but also for what I don't have. I'm thankful for what I don't have because if I had those other, nicer things, I wouldn't have gymnastics. I've learned that love can be stronger than greed, and that love can make almost everything alright. My home has taught me to be flexible, to be accepting, and to live simply.
Others look at this house and they may pity me; I look at my little house and see much sweeter things. I look at the faded paint, the broken walls, and the crowded rooms. I know that bugs get in and warmth gets out. I try not to complain about washing dishes and hot summers without air conditioning. I see all of these things and I see them as a blessing. All of the imperfections equal love and sacrifice. My house is a reflection of who I am. It has made me loving, slow to judge, and is the place I run to with my sorrows, my successes, and my dreams. My parents have built this house with love for me, and their willingness to make me happy. I may not have pretty things or a beautiful home, but I do have love, happiness, and knowledge of what is important in life. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Oh hey personal essay. Thanks for helping me get into college.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

On a lighter note,

after Jack, Kelly, Eric, and I saw the movie, we went to Dave and Buster's. It was really fun. We ate dinner and then we played games in the arcade. After that we just came home, played Pictionary with the family, went to Eric's, ate cake, watched scary TV shows, then came home. Lalala.

Black Swan (spoiler alert people!!)

Hmm Black Swan. What to say about this movie??
It was good, but I'm not sure if I think it was great yet. It was very dark, and it didn't seem to me to be that focused on the dance aspect. It was mostly focused on her being crazy. I figured it would be the type of movie where dancing had consumed this girl's life, which, many and even I can somehow relate to. I thought she would be unhappy but dance would be the thing that set her free, but it didn't seem to even make her happy while she was doing it. Not until the end. Which I suppose was what the objective was but that just bothered me a little. It was not a happy movie. The only happy part was when she found out she was the **spoiler alert** Swan Queen. After that it was downhill emotion wise. Don't get me wrong I do think it was a beautifully made, good and entertaining movie. I just don't know if I see where the hype is coming from. Maybe it'll take a few days to sink in.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Dear 2011,

Adventures please?


What's right and what's wrong? I need the blurry line to become clear.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

This...Is....NEW YEAR'S!!!!

Giant reese's cups. Fun pictures. Squeezing onto the couch. Fake champagne. Counting down the ball drop. Pretend dance parties. Weird scary movies. (Did we even finish that?) Restlessness on the couch. Chat Roulette. Trying to sleep. Flying Jenga blocks. Farting on people. Tickle/hitting/rolling around on the floor/pinching fights with Elizabeth. Whining about wanting to go to Waffle House for 3 hours. Finally fitting on the couch. Semi falling asleep on the couch. Realizing it's bright outside. Feeling drunk. Going to Waffle House at 9 in the morning. Coming home and sleeping til 4.

Having the best New Year's ever.... yeahhhh.