Soooo Kathryn's post was about her year, and it made me want to write about mine.
How do I even begin? Well it was awesome being a senior, at school and at gymnastics. At gymnastics, it was a great feeling being at the top, even more so than being at the top at Freeman because the people at gym actually respected us as seniors. I was finally one of the top dogs I guess. The little girls knew we were the oldest and they were in awe of us, which is a really amazing feeling.
My gymnastics season started off kind of slow, and it was a really pressure filled, frustrating, exciting season. I changed my mind about doing gymnastics in college so I knew that I needed to achieve whatever goals I wanted this year. Which I did with the help of going to a nutritionist. He helped me choose foods that would give me the most energy, etc. I learned so much about myself just from this year of gymnastics. I realized if I really want something I can make it happen, I guess I just didn't want it as bad before. My biggest goal was to be happy with how I did, which is almost harder than saying "I want to get 2nd or 1st place" because you can't just be happy. You can't buy it, you can't ask someone to give it to you, you have to feel it. I overcame the immature thought process of wanting to win all the time; I realized part of being happy is knowing you did your best, and you tried as hard as you could. And through all of the yelling, falling, exhaustion, early morning/late night practices, disappointment, accusations of not caring or not trying, driving home literally sobbing into the steering wheel... yeah that happened, through all of that I finally got my happiness. I found a place that I made for myself. I did my best. I did awesome at states. I did awesome at regionals. I made nationals. The last meet I ever competed in was the best meet of my life. How could I not be happy. So this year in gymnastics was amazing. And I couldn't be happier about it.
When it comes to school, eh, I didn't get too much out of it this year. I guess I just cared a little less about insignificant things. I realized that I don't always get what I want the way I want. Things happen for a reason. Through heart break and frustration I watched the one person I thought I could love be with someone else and it forced me to focus on myself. Focus on myself as a person, focus on being my own person, focus on what I wanted out of my little life here.
Which helped. I became my own person, I settled for friendship which ultimately helped our relationship grow. I thought I was happy before but I haven't been this happy about life in general in ... well ever I guess. It's amazing. And I'm thankful every day and hope it doesn't end.
I had a great summer. I didn't have a job (which I need to get this summer) and I just spend time with whoever. I was free even though I knew it was ending soon.

I think I have definitely grown in my faith this year as well. I can see changes and I really like it. I depend on God like I never had before, which is a great feeling.
Hopefully 2011 just gets better in every aspect!!!

FUCK YOU BLOGGER YOU ERASED MY LONG ASS BLOG

You.

I want to make you feel better because I love you. You need time though and I understand that.

I wish you could be happy with what you're given but you never are. Why can't things just... be? And know that there are bigger problems than what's in front of your eyes. People weren't placed in your life to please you.

And I wish I could be guaranteed that everything would be more than alright and that I'd be happy.

I bite the side of my mouth when I'm upset to keep me from crying.

It bothers me that my hands are pretty and smooth now.

I don't mind telling people everything. If I don't I feel alone.

I have laugh lines already but it's like a permanent reminder of all the happiness I have.

My hands get clammy when I think about things that make me nervous.

I still get nervous thinking about gymnastics skills that used to scare me.

My feet smell a lot.

My biggest fears are being alone and people I love dying... which I guess coincide.

I think I put too much of my mind and self in the things I do, so I find myself disappointed a lot.

back to a happy feeling :D

April 12, 2010

" Yayyyy! I'M SO HAPPY!

I made it to Nationals!

Finally!! I hit 4 for 4! And I felt so good! It was an amazing feeling. And then when I was done I just started crying, because I was happy, sad, relieved. . . And then Larissa told us we all made it. . . & Mom started bawling haha. I still can't believe it. . . it's crazy!

I'm going to Dallas. . . I'm on the national team. That's what I wanted and I got it :D I finally did it!

I finally won. And I proved to everyone & myself that I am good enough.

Everything is perfect.

Just. . . perfect :) "

Good talks

Well. I was snowed in tonight. Not during the day though. After my family and I trudged through the snow to get to church at 10 am, I went out to lunch with Eric's family. Twas nice.

Then we just played in the snow :D

Sadly my mom wanted me home before dark so I came home. Thankfully my best friend is next door and we had already planned to hang out so it was all good!

Kathryn and I watched a movie and then basically talked until midnight haha. It was really nice. I miss our talks about... everything. And we ate a bunch of cookies. Which is definitely a plus. Bah. I love that girl!!

Christmas!

Today was very lovely. I was woken up at 7... yes 7... by my mom who I think got woken up my Mike. He's a freshman... don't they love sleep?? Apparently not!

After being woken up entirely too early, we headed over to the living room so my dad could read from the Bible and pray, and then it was present time :D :D

I got some nice presents this year including.....

-some books

-movies

-pretty socks

-a few giftcards

-a purse thingy

-a ring

That's all I can remember right now. But I was happy. That's more than enough than I need so. I'm happy for anything really. Afterwards we all just sat around and looked at our presents. We watched movies and just hung out til about 1. Then we ate Christmas dinner. YAYYYYY I FREAKING LOVE FOOD!!

Haha it is just so good! We have turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green been casserole, creamed cabbage and corn, and pies. Yummm.

Then I took a lovely nap. And we've just been hanging out, watching tv, playing cards, watching movies and just enjoying being with each other. Happy day! Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve

Yay! I love Christmas Eve! It is quite lovely and involves....

Cooking for tomorrow...

Putting last minute presents under the tree...

Chillaxin at home....

Tracking Santa online...

Napping...

Getting dressed up for church...

And later coming home to eat dinner, finish presents for people, open up new pajamas, and chill before going to bed for tomorrow!! Yay!! Love these two days :D

"Tarzan!"

Ahhh today was so fun! Eric, Elizabeth, Kathryn, and I went to Bell Isle and I borrowed his mom's really nice camera and took tons of pictures.

I love taking pictures. For a while I wanted to major in photography. Then I decided that it isn't that practical and I like psychology more. But I really love photography. It makes me very happy. Especially when I get to use a super nice camera :D :D

Happy day!!

And P.S. Christmas is soon! Love love love!

Good Start

So Christmas break has officially started. Here's what went down:

-Upon returning home and hugging Eric in my front yard, he took me down with him into the snow. It was cold.

- We went to the mall with him and Ricardo (!) and his other friends. Which meant me and Ricardo had to go play gold at Dick's because Eric banished me so he could buy my present.

- Then Eric, Ricardo, and I met Kat at El Cap. It was quite yummy.

-After that we went to Eric's house, then we had a mini snowball fight, then we went to Blockbuster, didn't get a movie, went back to Eric's, at some point we went to Starbuck's and played an epic game of Jenga, then we looked at Christmas lights.

-Back to Eric's house, watched TEETH and it was hilarious. Twas a great night and a great start to break. PRAISE THE LORD I'M HOME!

I really need

to be home right now. I have a math final tomorrow and it's killing me. I don't understand a lot of it and it just really drains and discourages me. I'm just going to pray that I do alright. I just really want to be home. The majority if not all of my friends are in Richmond right now. I hate that I'm still here. And I hate that I could possibly come home but be stuck in my house for a while because of the snow. That will NOT be ok. I really want to be with my best friends, my family and Eric. I'm just going to be positive about all of this people! Bahhh. Humbug.

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUT

eff you math.

My stomach

is making weird noises. But. Psychology was not a total fail. Now I shall sleep because I went to bed at 3 something and woke up at 7 and although I can function on 4 hours of sleep I don't want to. So there. When I wake up I will be dining with Melissa and writing GHIST essays. And mathematicizing. I'M ALMOST DONE!!!!

Exam Week: Day Two

So. Yesterday was stressful but i got a B on my Spanish final!! Happy day :D

Today all I had to do was turn in a portfolio for my GWRIT class which I just did, despite a train coming through our school.

Now I have to study for psychology tomorrow... which isn't difficult... It's just a matter of memorizing all the information.

Buuuut I also have to start writing GHIST essays for Thursday and studying STUPID MATH for Friday. Wait. I'm trying to be positive. I have to start studying for LOVELY MATH for Friday. There.

(In case yall needed an ego booster)

Exam Week: Day 1

So. Today I had my spanish final at 1. It was gross but reasonable I suppose. I mean, it was difficult but fair. I'm just glad it's done.

Now I just need to mainly focus on my portfolio due tomorrow (which is actually pretty easy) and my psychology exam on Wednesday. I am vur stressed. I just need to remember GOD SHALL HELP ME MUAHAHA SUCKAS.

Just kidding I'm sure I shouldn't be saying suckas and God in the same sentence.

No but seriously. This made me a little calmer.

" Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. And even the hairs of your head are all counted. So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows."

Matthew 1o:29-31

Melrose!!

Melrose was fun! I wish Stephanie and Melissa could have been there though. It was more formal than all the other IV dance parties... it was kind of like a homecoming dance. That being said, there were 2 or 3 slow, partner dances.

It just kind of sucked looking around and seeing people with their boyfriends or just another guy and knowing I had someone I could be dancing with but wasn't. That's almost worse than having no one at all.

I guess that was my choice though.

When I am sick of studying...

I turn to......picture taking! And since all of my friends in close proximity to me are GONE, I took pictures of myself.

Call me vain.

TODAY

SO. Today. This is what is happening.

- in a few minutes I am going to lunch.

- then I AM going to the library to study.

- then I am accompanying Meghan to Kohl's to perhaps buy another scarf. Or something.

- If time permits, I shall study some more. Because I need it.

- Then I will get ready for dinner with small group/head over to Large group.

- Then I will probably go to the library to study more.

Happy day?

WTF Wednesdays.

Pop quiz I probably failed in Psych.

Can't find a textbook I need to study for exams.

THANK YOU WEDNESDAY I FEEL THE LOVE

P.S!! YOU HAVE A STUPID NAME WEDNESDAY!! WE ALL KNOW YOU SHOULD CLEARLY BE SPELLED WENDSDAY!!!

Gross Things

- Putting liquid soap on your hands without putting water on them first.

- Stepping on cracks in the side walk.

- Putting your shirt on before your pants.

- Tasting a swallow-able pill before you swallow it.

- The sound of styrofoam.

Ewwwyyyy

"KIM! This picture makes your boobs look massive!!!"

....Thanks Betsey..... wah. Haha Today was surprisingly a good Monday!

I had psychology ( in which I actually participated), math (in which the air felt like "blankets" according to my friend), and Spanish (in which I had to turn in a DVD of myself talking) but I got an A on it so I was thrilled.

I took an amazing nap after classes. It was... amazing...

Then I walked over to DHall for Small Group dinner with Paige :D

It was so fun!! We had our Christmas partyyy! We played charades, exchanged gifts, took pictures, and ate yummy nummies :D

And you know what I realized? I love the time period between Halloween and New Years. Reasons why:

1.) Halloween.

2.) My birthday.

3.) Thanksgiving.

4.)Christmas.

5.) New Years.

It's just so fun! And I especially love the whole month of Christmas. So I was thinking about it and I decided that when I'm older I want to get married during winter!!!!!!!! It's just one more thing to add to all the reasons I love this time of year!! :D Ok. Good. Glad yall agree with me.

Sigh. After 1 and a half day of having Eric here, I'm sad to see him go. It was our 6th month-aversary yesterday so he came up to visit me. On Saturday he gave me my present :D which was a book about us up to this point basically. It had pictures and he wrote a bunch of our funny stories and jokes in it. I really really like it. After just hanging out and talking to Meghan we went to Texas Roadhouse which was ok even though I think the burger I ate might have made me sickish. After that we watched a movie slash talked to Hannah and Joel. It's nice to just chill and talk to him... we don't even have to go anywhere or do anything exciting. At about 1 in the morning Hannah, Joel, Eric and I decided to visit Meghan at work (a food place on campus) which was crazy. I didn't feel that well but that somehow made me more hyper... hehe. We got a little crazy after we ate our nachos.... there's a room in that building that has giant bean bags that we stacked on top of each other with a few other kids and it was really funny. Then we proceeded to flip, run, jump, and tumble on the bean bags.... we included table jumping and other various activities. Twas gnarly.

Today we just woke up, went to brunch with Hannah, Joel, and Meghan , worked on a Spanish presentation, hung out, then I just got back from dinner with him at an Italian restaurant. It was nice :D I'm kinda sad but I'll see him in two weeks. And then I'll get to see him for 3 weeks straight. Yay.

FrIdAy!!!!

I am so happy it is Friday!!

I already had a psychology presentation, and for those of you who know me well, know that I hate speaking in public. But I'm slowly getting better at it and it was fine. One of our group members didn't show up, but we carried his weight.

In a few minutes I'm going to head over to DHall to meet with Rachel and probably Meagan for lunch. Then I'll head over to math... gag me.

Then I'm free! Kind of!! I'll still have to complete a journal for Psych and work on an oral presentation for Spanish that I need to video tape.

I have til about 6 to do that I think and then I'm heading over to East Campus to have dinner with my small group then go to large group! I'm so excited! I haven't been to large group in forever and I just feel like I've kept myself from my faith lately and that's bothering me.

After large group we're going to Melissa's (one of my small group leaders) house and having a sleep over!! So excited :D

Should not have watched that

I just watched a really awful, depressing video. I let my morbid curiosity get the best of me. Ugh. And now I'm really upset and disturbed. It was really sad.... a man basically got hammered to death.... and I'm sure yall are like "Kim why did you watch that?" Sad, morbid things interest me but this... was obviously just bad. It makes me mad and wonder how the hell people can do that? How people... I just don't even have anything to say. I'm just upset I guess.. It was the worst thing I've seen hands down. I want to get the image out of my head. It makes me thankful that I'm safe. Thank you God for that but... it almost makes me question how that could have happened. That always confuses me.

And don't watch that video.

Crazy Story....

Once upon a time there was a man with a Korean daughter. She was very fond of one girl and would cling to her for hours and hours. The man and his brother went out to lunch with the brother's family and discussed numerous topics. The girl that the Korean girl loved could not get a word in edge wise when finally her father asked everyone to let her talk. After she talked she went up to her dorm room to find her boyfriend, his family, and her two best friends cooking Christmas dinner. Her two best friends were also cleaning out the brunette's fish tank. She was very confused as to how an oven got into her dorm room, but she accepted it. Then she and her two friends took the fish tank outside to empty it. They went out the back of the dorm building onto a sandy yard that had millions of baby turtles crawling around, and the blond was very concerned about stepping on them. So the three went to the front of the building and rinsed it out with a hose. The trio then went out and saw that a carnival of sorts was taking place outside, and went to join it. The main girl went over to a tree and her boyfriend's former girlfriend approached her and grabbed her arm while saying "Congratulations" in an insincere voice. The ex-girlfriend had a friend with her who said sarcastically, "That was sincere..." The main girl was very confused as to why she was being congratulated. She looked over and a man on stilts was throwing disks as far as he could into a lake. Again the girl was confused so she and her two friends went back inside. The girls were somehow on the 1oth floor of the dorm, and the main girl knew something was wrong. As soon as they started going down, the elevator was dropping fast and it fell all the way to the first floor. Luckily the main girl grabbed onto something before it hit the bottom and she was saved, but the other three girls (a third girl appeared out of thin air) were lying motionless on the ground. The girl sprang up to check if the blond was ok. She shook her and screamed "Are you ok?? Can you hear me??!!" And the blond grabbed the girl, and proceeded to press her face into her..... cleavage. Knowing the blond was back to normal, the girl then checked on the brunette, shaking her and asking her the same questions. The brunette sat and sleep-like and said "Yeah yeah I'm fine...". Then the girl went over to the stranger and asked if she was ok. She appeared to be one of their friends and gave the girl a huge grin, assuring her that she was ok. The four girls then had to walk up the stairs, when all of a sudden a handful of their boy friends started racing them up the stairs. The girls were displeased because of the traumatic experience they had just been through. The immature boys however, found it entertaining and continued to race them up the stairs. One of the boys held out a match to the main girl, who didn't know it was a match. He said "If you grab this it will help you get to the top of this car" (which at this point was what they were racing to the top of) Not knowing any better, she grabbed the match and it burst into flames, causing the girl to fall over. She uttered a few profanities at the boy with the beard and earrings and suddenly a police car showed up. The girl was scared that she would be arrested for using those words, when suddenly I woke up from my dream :D