Friday, December 31, 2010

Soooo Kathryn's post was about her year, and it made me want to write about mine.
How do I even begin? Well it was awesome being a senior, at school and at gymnastics. At gymnastics, it was a great feeling being at the top, even more so than being at the top at Freeman because the people at gym actually respected us as seniors. I was finally one of the top dogs I guess. The little girls knew we were the oldest and they were in awe of us, which is a really amazing feeling.
My gymnastics season started off kind of slow, and it was a really pressure filled, frustrating, exciting season. I changed my mind about doing gymnastics in college so I knew that I needed to achieve whatever goals I wanted this year. Which I did with the help of going to a nutritionist. He helped me choose foods that would give me the most energy, etc. I learned so much about myself just from this year of gymnastics. I realized if I really want something I can make it happen, I guess I just didn't want it as bad before. My biggest goal was to be happy with how I did, which is almost harder than saying "I want to get 2nd or 1st place" because you can't just be happy. You can't buy it, you can't ask someone to give it to you, you have to feel it. I overcame the immature thought process of wanting to win all the time; I realized part of being happy is knowing you did your best, and you tried as hard as you could. And through all of the yelling, falling, exhaustion, early morning/late night practices, disappointment, accusations of not caring or not trying, driving home literally sobbing into the steering wheel... yeah that happened, through all of that I finally got my happiness. I found a place that I made for myself. I did my best. I did awesome at states. I did awesome at regionals. I made nationals. The last meet I ever competed in was the best meet of my life. How could I not be happy. So this year in gymnastics was amazing. And I couldn't be happier about it.
When it comes to school, eh, I didn't get too much out of it this year. I guess I just cared a little less about insignificant things. I realized that I don't always get what I want the way I want. Things happen for a reason. Through heart break and frustration I watched the one person I thought I could love be with someone else and it forced me to focus on myself. Focus on myself as a person, focus on being my own person, focus on what I wanted out of my little life here.
Which helped. I became my own person, I settled for friendship which ultimately helped our relationship grow. I thought I was happy before but I haven't been this happy about life in general in ... well ever I guess. It's amazing. And I'm thankful every day and hope it doesn't end.
I had a great summer. I didn't have a job (which I need to get this summer) and I just spend time with whoever. I was free even though I knew it was ending soon.

I think I have definitely grown in my faith this year as well. I can see changes and I really like it. I depend on God like I never had before, which is a great feeling.
Hopefully 2011 just gets better in every aspect!!!

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