Thursday, July 22, 2010

I hate sounding emo and I hate when people do this but whatever. It makes me feel better. Because you certainly don't. I can't talk to you. I can't say one simple thing. Why is it so easy for you to walk away. Literally walk away when we're having a...discussion? A 5 word exchange? It's confusing. And I don't know if I should just get over it or if I should dwell on it like I do with everything. And I can't just tell you that you suffocate me because I don't know how you'll react. And I'm sick of locking myself in my room and crying it makes me feel like I'm 13. You think we're perfect and our family is perfect and we're all so happy and yay let's go pick flowers because we're amazing!!!! Our relationship is so messed up and you don't even know it. You tell me you love me everyday but I think you mean you love your daughter. I don't think you love me. I think you love having a person to dress and watch and live through and to have an unconditional love thrown back at you. We're good on the outside. I guess you're good on the outside and inside. So that must mean everything's ok. And the ironic thing is you hate when people are oblivious. Really now?

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