Time

Sometimes I really want to go to college. I just feel suffocated with where I am and what I'm doing and with some of the people I am around. I can't wait to learn new things (weird right??) and meet new people and spend time with my older brother and just be myself in a new environment. But then other times it obviously really scares me. It makes me think. There are some people I'm just starting to get close to and I'm just going to have to leave them in a month. Sometimes I feel like I need more time. I need more time with the people I've known forever. I need more time with Elizabeth and Kathryn. I'm with them everyday...and I still want more time with them. What's going to happen when I don't see them everyday. Are we going to change? Are we going to drift? That scares me. I want more time with the people I'm just starting to know too. There are some people that I know I could get to know and be really close to but there's not enough time for it to happen. I've only been going out with my boyfriend for 2 months and I have to leave. That sucks..it's gonna suck not being able to see him whenever I want. 2 hours isn't impossible but it definitely makes things harder. It's just sad. I know I'm not alone... there are tons of 18 year olds out there going through the same exact thing as me. It just sucks to think about. But it's good in some ways too. Definitely a bittersweet feeling.