just like a child

It's only been a week and it's just hard. I wish I wasn't like this... I wish I could be fine by myself and independent and not need anyone but I do. And it sucks.. but it's obviously amazing at the same time. And I don't feel like explaining myself because this is for me and whoever the hell wants to read it can and if you don't know what I'm talking about I don't give a shiiiiiiihite. I'm happy but I always feel worse at night... I hate how I get like this. But it makes me sad. However pathetic that is. I love having someone that is really nice.... no one else is that nice to me but it sucks not seeing them and it sucks that it sucks.. it sucks that I can't be jumping for joy and I have to get all mopey when I hear he's having more fun than I am and that I get jealous of all his friends because they get to hang out with him and I don't or even random girls that get to hang out with him when I don't get to. I like telling him everything and it's hard to when you don't get to see them. And I wouldn't be venting if it wasn't worth going through. It's not like I don't want to.