This weekend was fun :D The IV dance party was crazyy. Or at least me and Stephanie were. Tehehe. We really are quite crazy with each other. I feel like we've gotten a lot closer since we've gotten here. I like it :D She's one of my best friends here and just anywhere which is awesomez!

And thennn Saturday I basically spent all day with her and also her friends Brittany and Brianna. They're really nice. The game was fun while it lasted... even though we found out later that we lost. Womp. Then we went to dinner and then to Urec for a Halloween thing. Me and Steph got to talk and jump on velcro walls. No big deal haha. I was in a bad mood but. I got cheered up :D :D :D

Thennnn today I had lunch with my mom, Jack and Kelly. It was nice. Then I did homework and cleaned all day. Joy joy. So now I'm just mellowing out. Bah.

I'm happy until something or someone reminds me that I can't just say hi to Eric whenever I want or just look at him... and that he's having so much fun with all of his best friends and I only have but so much to keep me distracted from how I really feel. And I see people holding hands and I get mad because they're rubbing it in my face that I've never just had a normal relationship.. not even during the summer because it was like the clock was constantly counting down the days I had to spend with everyone. And now I only see him once a month or 5 weeks and that's not fun. I mean I finally got used to someone finally caring about me like I always wanted, and then the end of August rolled around and I don't get to see him. There's a lot of time when I'm just sitting in my room doing homework alone and I just want to be with him. Love this feeling guys!!!!

Halloween...

It's Halloween! Oh wait Halloween isn't til Sunday! OH WAIT! It's college and you celebrate a fun holiday as much as you can aka non stop parties from Thursday to Sunday. Bah. Skankoween. That's what it should be called.

Apparently I'm "such a waste of oxygen..."

Then why did you bother to say that to me?

Eh eh, there's nothing else I can say. Oh thanks Lady Gaga! :D

Why you gotta be so mean?

Seriously? I don't understand. Why do people have to be so mean? My friends haven't done anything as far as I know and apparently people are just being mean to them for no reason. Um... really? I used to be mean to people for no reason.... and then I turned 13. JK. Because that's just dumb... a waste of time... not right... immature. And pointless. Oh wait. Maybe the point of it is that they get shit faced all the time and hook up with guys then realize "wahh they just like me because I have a vagina"... so making other people feel like shit makes them feel slightly less awful about their lives. I guess that has to be it. OR even worse, they just suck and are mean. Sounds reasonable. Totally. It really sucks. Haters stop hating... you're really not that cool. Beer is just... liquid... right? Right. And letting everyone with a penis do you is just slutty. If you weren't aware ;)

"Her redness is spreading!!" "My laugh really isn't that loud!" "PTERODACTYL!!"

Sooo small group was hilarious yesterday. At dinner I showed Melissa my deteriorating journal and she made the funniest mix of a face and noise I've heard in a while. So I basically lost it. I started laughing but it was the kind of laughing that you don't control... or breathe during. So of course I turned bright red and it started at my face and probably went down to my toes. So then everyone at our table started laughing..... and at that table was Kaci who has the best laugh I've ever heard. So then we all started laughing even more. And I think all of D Hall was looking at us. It was ok though. It definitely made my life :D

Then we headed over to a classroom for Bible study. We played a game that was basically supposed to be the opposite of dinner aka we weren't allowed to laugh. Yeah that didn't last.

Then we had our Bible study. I always feel confused until someone explains it to me. Which is kind of unfortunate. But I guess it's ok. I got Stephanie to explain a lot of it to me haha. I think IV has really helped me in my faith which is awesome. It reinforces what I already knew, which is what I need. I need to be reminded that I don't have to do anything for God to love me. That's just a really hard concept for me to grasp. It's an amazing concept though.. obviously!! :D

Absence makes the heart grow fonder my ass. sometimes it just sucks. wah.

Good Day :D :D :D

So yesterday I went on a hike with my roomie, Meghan. It was really hard. Let me just say, I'm really out of shape and my legs are rull sore. It was cool at the top though. It was pitch black and the mountains were so pretty!! Full moon oh yeahh.

Today I woke up at like.... a million oclock because I got home so late from the hike. But at around 1 Stephanie and I got lunch. Twas very nice. I love talking to her :D I feel like we've gotten a lot closer since we've been here. Yay status. Then after that we took a bus to Walmart and got costumes for Halloween. All I'm going to say is.... EXCITEMENT! It's going to be awesome!! After a minor freak out because I left my brother's sweatshirt in Walmart, we headed back to school. I got dinner and took it to Samantha's room where she, Amanda (her sister), Caitlyn, and John (her two friends) were hanging out. We talked and watched a weird movie while doing our hair until about 9 when we met Melissa and Betsey to head over to an off campus IV dance party!!!!

It was so much fun!!! Stephanie and I were going crazy with our dance moves, let me just sayyyy. Twirling, flailing, and cyclone-ing were involved, just saying. Oh and slizzarding. No big deal. We had Jolt so I'm still hyper haha. AHHHH it was fun. Yay. Good day.

LUB LUB!!!!

we just have to wait and see

Sooo just took my psychology test. Wow. Um. That was definitely NOT and ego booster. Awesome. I just looked at my grades. They're ok I guess. I have an A in History (whaa?) a B in Spanish, a B- in Psycholoy, and a C in Math. I'd rather not have a C in math but.... I suck at math. I need at least a C- to be able to apply to the psychology major. Not that I want to do the bare minimum, but there is seriously something missing in my brain when it comes to math. And Indian teachers. Blah. I keep saying to myself "you need a break from school" but then I'm like no I can't take a break! I'm not doing that great already and if I take a break I'll be even more behind!! Grr. It's just weird living at school and eating at school. Just a weird concept. Plus I have no big distractors like I used to. I used to have gymnastics which was sometimes more important to me than school. I don't have that anymore so I feel like all of my focus is on school.... which is stressful at times. But. It's Friday. Yay.

rawr

I have psych test im not ready for, im in a bad mood, i feel fat, im tired, my teeth feel gross, and im just mad at everything. i wanna curl up in a ball on someone's lap. leave me alone world you're mean.

Reflex?

Before I study for psychology (ew) I feel like blogging. Today in history I noticed something about myself that I already knew, I just happened to notice it IN ACTION!!!

So during history this boy walked in pretty late. And I could see the expressions on the other student's faces. They were thinking, "Why the hell did this kid even come to class?" while smirking and holding back laughter. People in that class laugh at this kid a lot because he talks kind of differently I guess. So when he walked in today I saw this one girl in particular laughing a little bit and I got randomly defensive. I started thinking in my mind "well..... your face is fat". I'm being serious. That's what I thought. Which is really mean. And totally irrelevant. I just tend to get defensive of everyone. I hate it when people judge others. I'm not trying to even say that in the "Oh I'm such a good person, I'm a wonderful Christian, I love everyone" sense. I guess that's what it is subconsciously but I just really hate it. I always try to find a way to somehow defend someone, even if it's just in my mind. I even sort of defend people that are mean to me. There's this one girl who just doesn't like me and even though I went on a rant about her... a few times... part of me is like "well maybe her life just sucks.... so if her judging me makes her feel better then fine do it I'll be ok..." It's weird. I just wish people didn't judge like that in the first place. What's the point?

Kimberly...

I was texting Eric and he called me Kimberly and it made me happy. I love when people call me Kimberly. This is kind of a pointless post. But. It made me think of how little I'm called by my real name. Which I guess makes it sound prettier to me when I am called it. My dad is the only one who legitimately calls me Kimberly. Of course that's probably because it's his favorite name... hence why he named me that. Apparently he said at one point "There aren't any ugly girls named Kimberly so that's what we'll name her." I don't know how true that is though haha. Makes for a funny story though :D

According to urban dictionary......

Kimberly: The definition of amazing. Then I looked up the Biblical meaning of Kimberly... "ruler". No big deal guys, no big deal.

Happy

Life is good. My 9:30 class is cancelled for tomorrow morning. I got a good grade on my Spanish oral exam. I'm not too swamped with homework as of yet. I got to see my friends this weekend and it was like we hadn't left. It was awesome. I got to see Eric and things with him change but they get better... you know? I feel different with him now than I did when we first started going out. Bah. I got to be in my house and see my little brother... talk to my mom. I like talking to her. It was a good weekend. Put me in a good mood. Now I have to get back into the real world. But. I'm happy.

"Are you straight edge...?"

What a weekend!!

So.

Friday: My mom drove me and Stephanie home. Then me and Elizabeth stopped by the Homecoming game at Freeman to watch Mike play in the band. We met up with Rachel, Kelsey, Katelyn, Julie, and Samantha there. It was cool being back... made me miss senior year a little bit.

Then we went back to Elizabeth's and hung out a little I believe before heading over to Waffle House. We saw Maegan!! It was amazing. I love that place. Then me and Steph slept over at Liz's which was fun :D

Saturday: Woke up. Went to Casa Grande with Mrs. Seward, Elizabeth, Alex, Eric, and Carlton. It was nicey :D

Then me, Eric, Elizabeth and Alex went to Maymont and took pictures and stuff. What else is new.

After that we went to Red Robin with Kat and then we met everyone at Liz's to go to Blood Lake. Which. Was quite scary. Because one dude kept following me. And Eric let it happen. Boyfriend fail. Tehe. Thennn what do you think we did? Yeah you're right we went to Waffle House.

Sunday: After much confusion, I ended up going to a show with Eric. To say the least, I felt very out of place. These kids look really mean, all tattooed up, random piercings, evil glares....well...kinda. But I just felt really out of place. Plus I'm not straight edge and it was "National straight edge day" or something. Eric kept telling me they won't get mad but I was a little intimidated so how was I supposed to know!!? So we walked in to get X's on our hands and they asked him if he was straight edge and he said yes and they gave him huge x's on his hands. Then he asked me if I was straight edge and apparently I said no really quietly and scared and the guy goes "It's ok I'm not going to light you on fire or something..." hahaha. Ugh. I'm a noob.

Anyways. I didn't think I would like going to a show at all... I was always too scared to go to one but I thought it was really fun. I mean I don't like the music and I've told Eric that.. numerous times. But the show was cool. I got pushed around a lot but I already knew that would happen. And I got shoved into a door which did hurt buuuut at least I didn't get punched in the head like Grayson did. I thought Eric was going to kill someone at first when he thought they punched me tehehe. I really wanna go to another one hahahaha. Anyway. Then we stopped by Waffle House... again... and then we went home. I mean JMU. Weird..

Going home!!!

In less than 7 hours I'll be on my way home to Richmond!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yayy I'm done with midterms! Still freaking out a little on my oral spanish exam that is supposed to be 9 minutes among 3 people.... it's def like 5.

BUT I'M COMING HOME TOMORROW!!!!! YESSSS!!!!!

Here are the things I miss most about home:

Being a step away or 5ish minutes away from my best friends.

Singing. I can't sing as loud here. And it honestly is one of my only stress relievers.

My little lime green room.

MY BED

My family.... mikey.

My front yard

MY CAR

My gym

Driving around with my friends

Being downtown with Eric

ALL OUR RESTAURANTS aka Panera, Bottom's Up, El Chaps/El cap, Sweet Frog, Galaxy.

Waffle House

Forever 21 with Kat!

Massage lines

Movie nights

Photo sessions

Laughing uncontrollably with Elizabeth!!

All of which I plan on doing this weekend. It will get done. Don't you worry.

My Wenis Hurts.

Sometimes I wonder:

Do I have body image issues or do I really need to lose weight?

I guess it's both. I need to work out. I want to be smaller. Or just be comfortable in my own skin.

Anyway. I love how it feels outside. When it's cold I get these weird feelings. It's hard to explain. It's during fall or winter (because that's when it's cold). I step outside and I get this feeling of sadness/happiness/loneliness. But it isn't a bad feeling. And it's not something I can really explain; it's probably like explaining a color to a blind person. But I really like it. It's not something I can feel on command. Weird. But cool. And I just got it :D I LOVE FALL SLASH WINTER!

I can't wait to see my house! I miss it so much! Yay! Ahh. Can't wait for Friday. I have to get through midterms first though.

PRAY. FOR. MY. SANITY.

No but seriously.

My armpits are sweaty.

Well. The past 2 hours have been eventful. My mom found my blog... which was very scary because there are some not so nice posts on here about her. Not that they're mean necessarily, just very open. I just started sobbing when I read them out loud to Meghan. They just seemed so hurtful. I didn't intend them to be though. That's why I didn't tell her that to her face. Anyway, after tears and a phone call, I think we resolved everything.

Laaaaa. Ew. Midterm tomorrow. No thanks!!

I apparently make no one happy.

Well. That's Embarrassing.

ANYWAY

Considering I've tried to post something for the past 10 minutes, I'm going to make this short.

FRIDAY: Erique picked me up. Took me to VCU. Ate. Walked around downtown. Creepy creep guy creeped on us. WAFFLE HOUSE! MEAGAN!

SATURDAY: We went to Busch Gardens. Creepy mask people scared me. Rode on roller coasters. Drunk people ran into us. WAFFLE HOUSE! MEAGAN! and Ricardo!

SUNDAY: Galaxy Diner. Drive to JMU. Jammed to 90's songs (Eric eventually ended that) and yeah. I did homework when I got back.

It was really nice coming back to Richmond.. I missed it. It was strange being there though without all my friends. I kept thinking to myself "Ahh let's go get Elizabeth and Kathryn and go to Waffle House.... oh wait." But this weekend I'll get to see all my besties! I'm so excited!!

It always sucks when Eric leaves though... ugh boots. Long distance sucks sometimes. At least he's not in Oklahoma like Bea's boyfriend.... bahhhh.

why. won't. blogger. let. me. blog.

A GIRL NEEDS TO BLOG!

Lalala

So today was good. I'm going home in like 2 hours! Yayyy!!! I'm excited. Except I'm not exactly going home...I'm going to Richmond. But I'm going to stay with Eric. Nextttt weekend I'm going home home. I am so excited to be at my house. But I'm realllly excited for this weekend :D :D :D

P.S.

http://ericxxx.blogspot.com/

follow Eric :D I want him to feel important.

Random updates on my life... my day...

I'm hungry. Jersey shore was good tonight. I understood my math homework. I looked bigger in the mirror today. (?) I really like Bea :D I miss my doggy. My jeans are already dry. I vacuumed our floor. It didn't really work. I really need Elizabeth to crack my back. I miss my bathroom. I think I forgot what my house smells like. My callouses are completely gone from my hands... every time I go to touch them I feel like my hands are empty. My hair is getting longer yay. It's getting colder. The girls in my hall think I'm loud. I'm starting to become happier here. Jack is going to Kelly's for Thanksgiving. Sad. Sad that I get jealous of Kelly sometimes. I miss Pepito. I need to workout. My nose was bleeding earlier. I'm excited for tomorrow. And Saturday. And kind of Sunday. I have a history midterm next week. I'm going on really intense hiking trip in a few weeks. I'm finally learning the art of napping. Two days in a row baby! I wish I was friends with Snooki.

"My face looks like a bowl??"

Today was pretty good. I had writing at 9:30... which is better than a 9 oclock class I suppose.

Then I had the rest of the day until my 6:30 class. During which I.....

Went to lunch with Sarah from IV. She's nice. We talked about a bunch of stuff.

And then I basically sat around, read, ate cheez its, listened to music, bought a new Tay Swi song (thanks to Kathryn).

Before Ghist Bea, Hannah, Meghan and I went to D hall for dinner. It was fun. I love those girls.

The remainder of my night was spent studying.... and I think I forgot all the words already. Dangit.

But. On a higher note....

I'm coming home this weekend! And hanging out with Eric! Yayy. It's been a month since I've seen him wahhh.

Hey look. It's me and Eric.

IV was fun today. Dinner was fun as usual. I'm starting to get to know everyone a little better. Little by little. I really like Stephanie's friend from high school, Taylor. She's really funny. Certain friends still frustrated me but I tried to remain... patient.
And our Bible study was good. It's always comforting to be reminded that God has a plan for you. It definitely helped keep me calm during my math test today. Not to say that I shouldn't study and work hard, but it's comforting to know that hey, look where I am today. I'm not dead, I have all my limbs, I got into the college I wanted, my family's functional, I have friends that love me. God hasn't steered me wrong. I just need to keep remembering that.

I'm getting lunch with Sarah tomorrow so that'll be nice. I haven't really talked to her much so it'll be cool to branch out.


Today was me and Eric's 4 month anniversary OH MY GOSHHHH. Haha just kidding. I mean. Out of the amount of years I've been alive, 4 months seems a little insignificant but the way he put it today made it seem longer: 1/3 of a year. Haha. It kinda stinks that I didn't get to see him.. nor have I ever seen him one of our "monthaversaries". Bah. He is nice :D

Well. I'm tired. So. I'm going to sleep.
Just one last thing.



Glad I got that out of my system. Goodnight freakshows! :D

DON"T ELONGATE ABREVS THE WRONG WAY!

There's legitimately. And there's legit.
But legitly? That is just. Shake my head. JUST SAY LEGITIMATELY!!! UGHHH.

I CAN DO ANYTHING GOOOOOOOD!!!!

Look! I can be a shark!

Now! My whole house is great!

I can do anything good!

I miss my school!

I miss my dad!

I miss my cousins!

I miss my aunts!

I miss my Kathryns!

I miss my mom!

I miss my brothers!

I miss my dads!

I miss my hair!

I miss my haircuts!

I miss my pajamas!

I miss my stuff!

I miss my room!

I.MISS.MY.WHOLE.HOUSE!

My whole house is great!

I can do anything good!

yeah yeah yeah yeah!

I can do anything good!

Better than anyone!

Better than anyone!!!

:DD

Family Weekend

So today my family came up for family weekend. Or for them it was more like family day. My mom and mike got here pretty early... only because my dad ran a race that jmu was holding at about.... 8 in the morning. We met up with Jack and Kelly and ate lunch outside of d hall. Then we headed over to the football game. It was really fun but unfortunately we lost :(

It was a downer but Kelly and I had fun screaming and eventually just making weird noises while we were cheering JMU on. Twas entertaining. And we got to see the James Madison girl AND the duke dog at the same time... hugging. Let's just say my mind was blown.

After the game we went to the bookstore and I got some sweatpants... eh. Since you can't really try on clothes at the bookstore I underestimated how big my badonkadonk was..... I'm going to need a medium. Dangit :D

And i felt so bad for my poor daddy because he is a picky person. Therefore he had a hard time choosing what he wanted to get...

First he wanted a zip up jacket... they didn't have any that didn't make him look fruity.

Then he wanted a shirt. All the ones he wanted were XXL. My dad is a tiny person.

Theeeeen he decided to get a sweatshirt. But I had to advise him on which one he should get. My mom, Jack, and Kelly had gone outside at this point but I felt bad for him and wanted him to get something so I stayed with him. I love my dad :D

Then we went to the Sprint store/Walmart/Jack's apartment and invited his roommate aka really good friend Chris to come to Outback with us. I really like Chris. He's kinda like an older brother to me. Oh wait. I already have one. Nevermind.

Dinner was fun. We were just a big happy family. Then we went to a concert put on by the JMU orchestra and choir and marching band. It was cool I suppose.

After that we stopped by Jack's apartment again and then my parents took me back to my dorm and here I am. It was fun. Kinda sad seeing them go though. Back to reality I guess!

I do not.

I do not hold grudges.

But I do tell people how I feel.

Especially when they hurt my feelings, several times a day.

Just lettin yall know!

I love how songs you listen to make you think of people.

For example:

Right now I'm listening to Wonderwall. That makes me think of Destry because the summer before Junior year he played that song ALL.THE.TIME. And that was before we were tight. So. Yeah.

We'll be a Dream reminds me of Elizabeth. I just remember one night this summer we both put that song on in our cars and rolled the window down and sang to each other while driving in separate lanes... probably not a good idea but. It was lovely. ( We have a million more songs. But. That is the most recent :D)

Alchohol by the Millionaires.. such a bad song. It reminds me of all of us buuuut it reminds me of Stephania because I remember driving everyone in the MV!! (minivan) to the youth group pool party and that was when we were kinda new in our friendship so belting out the millionaires brought us a little closer. Tehehe.

Basically every Britney song reminds me of Kathryn. She was our girl. Our idol. Our favorite singer. Whenever hit me baby one more time came on on the bus we rode to maybeury... oh man. That bus was jammin. And me and kathryn knew every word. And Lucky. We knew every word. Still do. Don't mess with us.

Concrete angel and Earl had to die always remind me of Ariel. We stuck our heads out the window and belted concrete angel every single time it came on, without fail. And we changed the words to Earl Had to Die to "Kimmy and Ariel were the best of friends... back in their middle school days.... " We said we'd never fall apart. :(

Suds in the Bucket was me and Taylor's song. We sang it on the track when we had to run the mile... to keep us distracted. haha. i miss her too.

You Belong with Me was me and Larson's song.... it completely related to us at the time haha.

12:59 lullaby.... :D no one else knows it so that obviously has to do with Eric....

I remember flying to Nationals and that song came on my ipod and I had forgotten about it... and I was like ahhhh i love this song! and it made me think about that whole situation. I guess I accepted that I can't please everyone and I had to be happy for me...? And I finally was. I mean I still liked him of course but. I was happy for myself. Maybe I needed that before I could get into a relationship. ANYWHO yeah.