Thursday, October 21, 2010


Before I study for psychology (ew) I feel like blogging. Today in history I noticed something about myself that I already knew, I just happened to notice it IN ACTION!!!
So during history this boy walked in pretty late. And I could see the expressions on the other student's faces. They were thinking, "Why the hell did this kid even come to class?" while smirking and holding back laughter. People in that class laugh at this kid a lot because he talks kind of differently I guess. So when he walked in today I saw this one girl in particular laughing a little bit and I got randomly defensive. I started thinking in my mind "well..... your face is fat". I'm being serious. That's what I thought. Which is really mean. And totally irrelevant. I just tend to get defensive of everyone. I hate it when people judge others. I'm not trying to even say that in the "Oh I'm such a good person, I'm a wonderful Christian, I love everyone" sense. I guess that's what it is subconsciously but I just really hate it. I always try to find a way to somehow defend someone, even if it's just in my mind. I even sort of defend people that are mean to me. There's this one girl who just doesn't like me and even though I went on a rant about her... a few times... part of me is like "well maybe her life just sucks.... so if her judging me makes her feel better then fine do it I'll be ok..." It's weird. I just wish people didn't judge like that in the first place. What's the point?

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